your room smells of hookers.
And success
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
