it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
