I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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