Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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