matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I made him laugh his dick is mine
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
