The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
