i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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