mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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