I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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