Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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