I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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