His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
