I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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