Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
