When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
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