im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Green mimosas i think yes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
