Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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