I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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