I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
