glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
