you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
