i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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