Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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