First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
