i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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