these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize