Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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