Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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