I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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