I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
