I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
