It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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