"it" just moved
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
