do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
