I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
