ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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