I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
