so that wasnt chicken after all
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
