Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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