I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
