hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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