Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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