i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it glows. i had to have it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
