I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We need a shit load of segways right now
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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