absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
