I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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