I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
