Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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