Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
