I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
