this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
