Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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